Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Latest in Biphobia

This op-ed from asserts that bi men are really just gay. It's not only biphobic but it's also really offensive in a lot of other ways:

But I say that if you're a guy having sex with another guy, chances are there's a part of you that's in denial, and only time will tell when you finally come around to the realization that, yup, you're gay.

A lot of guys are all about animal instinct. We get it when we can. We need to drop our seed and move on to the next guy. OK, OK -- I just heard a collective scream from all of you who believe in the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. Of course emotions play a role in gay male relationships, and there's no question that men can commit to each other. But think about how many gay couples you know who play around, either together or separately. Why? Because gay men like to screw.

Wow, how original. Managing not only to push stereotypes about bi people and bi men but also about gay men and men in general. Good for this dude.

Which reminds me, I never commented on Michael Musto's recent column in the Village Voice, which asked the question, "Ever met a real bisexual?"
I only have one response to Musto's column, and it's the question, "Michael Musto still has a job writing for the Village Voice?" I mean, he started there in 1984. How much gossip is he really up on these days? And so the reason he has to put down members of the LGBTQIA community comes out. He has nothing better to write about. (Read: horizontal hostility.)
The webmaster from NYABN described Musto as "totally tired and decidedly un-fabulous" and I really have to agree. The fact that one knew Michael Alig can only get one so far. And one can only ride the gossip train for so long before people start to get really f***ing sick of them.


David Alex Nahmod said...

I'm not bisexual myself, but I find those comments offensive as well.
I think they're endemic of a larger, community wide problem~~for all our talk of diversity, we rarely accept/respect
each other.
Ask for the tolerance and respect you deserve and you're attacked for it.

Of course I've met "real" bisexuals.
And real gay men, and real lesbians.
It's absurd to suggest that someone else's sexual proclivity isn't "real".
Anyone recall how badly Anne Heche was treated after she broke up with Ellen & married a man?

Why can't we just accept each other for who each of us is?

John Bisceglia said...

No kidding. Is it really so hard to imagine a human being who is capable of FALLING IN LOVE with EITHER gender?

I experienced "crushes" first as a child; later, I got hard-ons. I.E. - LOVE came first. (don't pun that one). I hate the terms we use. May we try:


David sez - "Why can't we just accept each other for who each of us is?"

* A lifetime of self-hatred?
* A lifetime of sexual shame?
* A lack of self-esteem? (does putting down others give one a false sense of superiority?)


Lindsay said...

Did that writer really just invoke ev-psych to argue that bi men are really gay?

That seems really counterproductive to me.

(Also, hi! I just discovered your blog and was intrigued by the title. I'm another "cowtown bisexual," only from Kansas City, not Columbus).

Anonymous said...

I think this arguement of the non-existence of bisexual men is pretty damaging. I am bi and have known many others like me. I want my bi male peers to be out and it is difficult for them. For one their marriages will be called a sham, they will be called liars and cowards etc. I have been called "straight and fucking around" dismissing the fact that several of my same sex relationships have been loving relationships. A few people say I am "gay and in the closet" but I am so openly bi that it becomes a ridiculous especially as many know my dating history of mostly women. Largely because I have ignored bigoted gay culture. GO BISEXUALS!!!